Get your head out of the gutter. I’m talking about energy. Ever heard of energy vampires? They live. Energy vamps feed off of other people’s energy. Some are totally obvious like bullies and sexual predators. I was never really aware of the more subtle forms of energy theft. FULL DISCLOSURE: I’ve been a victim and a villain. Most of us have. They say once you have been “bitten”, you must bite someone else. I can totally see how this happens.
Before I established some boundaries, my beautifully dysfunctional family used to consistently call me to bitch about one another. It exhausted me. I was truly unaware of the degree to which I had been affected. I would usually end a call with a member of the fam then turn around and call my Bestie (What up, Parker!). I would always “vent” to her but in reality, I was just stealing energy from her to compensate for what had been taken from me.
When I realized what was happening, I was horrified. I wanted to cover some of the more subtle forms of energy theft for those who are like I was -without a clue. It’s not okay to bite, guys. Hopefully this will help anyone who is biting to be more aware or for those who are consistently bitten, now you know what is happening and you can passively aggressively share this to social media to let your vampires know you are on to them. Please note, covert energy vampires are more than likely unconscious of the theft. I wasn’t aware of it until I just was. We are unaware that we are unaware.
Here are 14 of the most common types of subtle energy vampires.
The Critics- These are the perfectionist who have a problem for every solution. They will do all they can to make you feel inadequate. Nothing you ever do is good enough. They will strangle your enthusiasm and drain you of energy.
Complainers- Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. I think I’ll just go eat some worms! These people are perpetual victims. The world is out to get them. Nothing ever goes right. Why meeeee?! They don’t necessarily want your advice, they just like to bitch.
Blamers– Forever the martyr. These are the people who make you feel guilty for existing. They deny your experience and consider it beneath their own. You are to blame for most of their issues. You are to blame for simply existing if it inconveniences these people in any way.
Passive/Aggressives– these peeps have trouble being honest about their feelings and find covert ways of getting at you. intentionally cause problems but deny their intention. They avoid confrontation and always keep score.
Drama Kings/Queens- The sky is falling. Every single thing that happens to these people is life or death. Extreme emotional intensity. Constant crisis situation.
Dependents- These people simply refuse to take responsibility and depend on others for their every need. They are seriously lacking in decision making skills.
Helpers– Anything you need? Anything at all? Well, it’s gonna cost ya. These people are eager to help. Just be careful about accepting help from them because once they help you, you owe them. Strings attached type of deal.
The Broken- These people consider you to be their therapist. They are constantly asking you to solve their problems. Constantly talking about their problems. Lack the confidence for proper decision making.
Mad Angry- These people are big ole bullies. They likely have loads of unresolved anger. They manipulate through intimidation.
Chatty Kathys- These people don’t talk with you. They talk at you. They wait to respond rather than actively listen and they find it impossible to STFU. I experienced this diarrhea of the mouth when my anxiety would get out of control.
Smarty Pants– What these people love above all else is being right. They are very knowledgable and swap information. Enjoy debating but get PISSED if you are more right than them. They are never wrong. They can’t be wrong. Ever.
The Needy- These people are like leeches. They can’t be alone and usually crowd you to the point of suffocating you. They will try to make you feel guilty if they feel you abandoned them.
Worry Warts– What can go wrong will and what can go right will probably go wrong too. These people worry about everything. They worry that they may worry too much. They can and often do project their fears onto you and your life.
Narcissists– These are the most dangerously abusive people you can possibly be involved with. They are legit psychopaths. Like, seriously. They fall on the spectrum of psychopathy. Now, you can have narcissistic tendencies without being a full blown narcissist. These people are master manipulators and incapable of truly experiencing love. They can be wolves in sheep’s clothing. Sure, at first they can seem amazing but before long you will see those true colors shining through. In my humble opinion, these are the most draining of all e-vampire types I have mentioned. A narcissist refuses to take responsibility for their behavior. My motto is typically “No Such Thing As A Lost Cause” but so far the research shows that narcissism can not be resolved with any form of therapy available today. So, DON’T WALK, RUN.
It is possible to protect yourself from energy vampires. Power of Positivity dot com has some awesome tips on exactly how to do that. You can click HERE to read more. If you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself, relax. I’m a big ole mess too. At least you see it now. At least you are willing to work on it. We can’t help what we don’t know but once we are aware, we have a responsibility. Own your shit. Humility. It’s all about that humility.