Most Awkward Human Being Alive

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The first time I met with my therapist he was telling me that because of my upbringing, I have been in fight or flight mode for most of my life. I was devastated by this and because of that I started feeling awkward. So what did I do? I BURST INTO SONG. Should I Stay Or Should I Go by The Clash seemed most appropriate. And what did he do? STARTED SINGING ALONG WITH ME.

Thank God for the awkward.

What Is Real?

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My most favorite storybook from childhood was The Velveteen Rabbit. Last week I saw it on a store shelf covered in a layer of dust with a clearance sticker on it and bought it to read to my little boy that night. Halfway through the story I was fighting back tears. Okay, fine. I was sobbing. As an adult, I understood the meaning behind the story. Becoming real is becoming your authentic self. I was so overwhelmed with emotion because I happen to be at that point in my life. I’m moving into this phase of living from my heart. It can’t be any other way. As it turns out, I’m not alone.

I love synchronicity. I’ve experienced a lot of that since I stopped being who I thought the world wanted me to be and started being who I really am. I tweeted about reading The Velveteen Rabbit again and understanding the meaning and a few days later Nathaniel Levisay replied to my tweet to let me know about his new project. It’s a musical retelling of The Velveteen Rabbit titled: “What is Real? The Velveteen Rabbit”.

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Manipulate Me Not

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For over a year I wouldn’t chase my dreams because I had this idea that I could never be taken seriously. The reason I did not believe I could be taken seriously is because I’m pretty. Yes, I think I am pretty. No, I’m not ashamed to say it. No, that does not make me conceited. If you are reading this and you do not believe you are pretty, YOU ARE WRONG 

SO, I honestly believed that nobody could ever TRULY appreciate my mind. If they appeared to, it was just a cover… an act for what they really wanted… my sex. I used to be told to believe that any time a person mistreated me or did something to hurt me it was because they were jealous because I was prettier than them…. belief courtesy of my darling mother. Fortunately for myself and humankind, I never fully bought into that one. Although to some extent I believe she has a point.

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Paradox Girl

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17793101_1244191995617374_454664414_nMe? I am the girl your mother probably warned you about. The one who takes life by the horns and tackles it. The rebel in the crowd. The black sheep of her family. I am the one who is determined to do something just because someone told me not to and I make it a point to do it with every bit of passion I have flowing in my veins. I am the one who is running out the door with just a moment to spare, who threw her hair up in a messy bun, grabbed a not so healthy snack and cup of coffee, which if I am lucky, will stay in the cup instead of on my white pants. I am the one who barely wears makeup and could care less if I am the perfect standards of a 10 in today’s model society. I would much rather eat some ice cream, shoot some pool, and dance on a bar. I have more spunk than the most of them and yet still enough drive that when it comes down to it that I can land the job you dreamed of without even trying.

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Not Your Average Fairytale

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“Tale as old as time…” If those words ring a “belle” deep in your mind, then you just may be a diehard fan of Beauty and the Beast.” (See what I did there? *wink* *wink*)

Most women my age were introduced to this classic tale through a Disney animated movie that was released in 1991. I grew up in a home that had no television and we did not go to the movies, so I didn’t get to enjoy it when I was very young. As a child, I did watch a little gem of a movie called Rigoletto, which had very similar themes to the Beauty and the Beast plot line, but I did not see the Disney version until I was an adult. I grew very fond of it once I watched it, and when they re-released it in 3D in 2012, my then-boyfriend and now-husband dutifully went along with me to see it on one of our Wednesday night dates.

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