It’s NOT Just “A Girl Thing”

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As the abuse of sexual power goes, females play a larger role than most people realize. Sexual coercion occurs when someone uses pressure or emotional force to get a person to agree to sex. Studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. It is possible to say yes and not mean yes. Below is a personal account of sexual coercion in the words of the person who was manipulated. Questions for the author can be directed to me HERE. He wishes to remain anonymous for now. 

The idea that all guys want as much sex as they can get is completely false. For as long as I can remember I have wanted my first time to be saved for someone really special. I always imagined meeting someone and being totally taken by her., delighting in the realization that our feelings matched and the fall afterword being irresistible… there being nothing we wanted more than to spend every moment together. Like we were the only two people in the world. What actually happened was not like that at all.

I met her in the apartment building I lived in. I was 22 at the time and she was 19. Although I mostly kept to myself while I lived there, I had run into her a couple of times in the first few weeks. We would talk while doing laundry and we seemed to have a lot in common. We got along really well right from the get go. I quickly came to enjoy her for her friendliness and dry humor and the crazy stories she would tell me. The more we talked, the closer we grew and before long we were hanging out in each other’s apartments and talking about our lives, listening to each other’s music and eating together.  It was a nice friendship and then things got complicated when she became physically attracted to me.

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Virginity

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As the abuse of sexual power goes, females play a larger role than most people realize. Sexual coercion occurs when someone uses pressure or emotional force to get a person to agree to sex. Studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. It is possible to say yes and not mean yes. Below is a personal account of sexual coercion in the words of the person who was manipulated:

I met her in the apartment building I lived in. I was 22 at the time and she was 19. Although I mostly kept to myself while I lived there, I had run into her a couple of times in the first few weeks. We would talk while doing laundry and we seemed to have a lot in common. We got along really well right from the get go. I quickly came to enjoy her for her friendliness and dry humor and the crazy stories she would tell me. The more we talked, the closer we grew and before long we were hanging out in each other’s apartments and talking about our lives, listening to each other’s music and eating together.  It was a nice friendship and then things got complicated when she became physically attracted to me.

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Racism

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I’ve tried so many times before to write about racism, but I always get to the really hard parts in my story, and my words get stuck. I was raised in a very religious home, so one might question how racism could have crept into my young life. I was born and raised in Mississippi, which of course is known for a highly spotted racial past. Racism was not a blatant part of my every day life growing up, but when extended family would get together for reunions or funerals, I heard many a racist “joke” or tirade. Even though the people in my every day life did not openly speak of such things, I do recall them all laughing along with the “jokes” or nodding sympathetically to someone’s tirade.

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Grief Is More Than a Grave

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Blair is a new writer for Bleed With Me. Blair’s family was torn apart when her husband was wrongfully accused and later convicted of a crime he did not commit. The allegations were brought by his ex wife who, like so many before her used the justice system to settle her own twisted score. And she won. And this happens ALL THE TIME and we know this yet change is often a day late, a bill short… You can read more about Blair here.

When someone dies what do we do? We take the time to memorialize their memory.  We gather together and share stories. We send flowers and plants to the family. We make sure that we remember what that person was like and all the good things they brought into our lives. We surround those that are grieving with support and love. We encourage them to cry and to grieve. We even acknowledge that it will take time to heal and one never recovers fully from the loss. The emotional support given is incredible and can greatly help those who are feeling such a void.

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