Stone Cold

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I haven’t felt anything for almost 72 hours. I always feel so intensely and consistently. So it’s weird. Numbness makes me feel so naked… Well, more like something is missing than an actual emotion.. I even keep thinking I am forgetting something every time I leave the house.

Like, who am I if I am not constantly having to decipher the difference between your feelings and mine? Because I feel so deeply that I feel most of your shit too. And now: NOTHING.

In a single moment earlier this week, I felt the heartbreak of a thousand lovers all at once… and it moved straight through me, left me gasping for air. Then, it was replaced with a giant dose of IDGAF.

Welcome to the danger zone. A selfless heart just turned to Stone.

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It’s NOT Just “A Girl Thing”

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As the abuse of sexual power goes, females play a larger role than most people realize. Sexual coercion occurs when someone uses pressure or emotional force to get a person to agree to sex. Studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. It is possible to say yes and not mean yes. Below is a personal account of sexual coercion in the words of the person who was manipulated. Questions for the author can be directed to me HERE. He wishes to remain anonymous for now. 

The idea that all guys want as much sex as they can get is completely false. For as long as I can remember I have wanted my first time to be saved for someone really special. I always imagined meeting someone and being totally taken by her., delighting in the realization that our feelings matched and the fall afterword being irresistible… there being nothing we wanted more than to spend every moment together. Like we were the only two people in the world. What actually happened was not like that at all.

I met her in the apartment building I lived in. I was 22 at the time and she was 19. Although I mostly kept to myself while I lived there, I had run into her a couple of times in the first few weeks. We would talk while doing laundry and we seemed to have a lot in common. We got along really well right from the get go. I quickly came to enjoy her for her friendliness and dry humor and the crazy stories she would tell me. The more we talked, the closer we grew and before long we were hanging out in each other’s apartments and talking about our lives, listening to each other’s music and eating together.  It was a nice friendship and then things got complicated when she became physically attracted to me.

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Virginity

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As the abuse of sexual power goes, females play a larger role than most people realize. Sexual coercion occurs when someone uses pressure or emotional force to get a person to agree to sex. Studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. It is possible to say yes and not mean yes. Below is a personal account of sexual coercion in the words of the person who was manipulated:

I met her in the apartment building I lived in. I was 22 at the time and she was 19. Although I mostly kept to myself while I lived there, I had run into her a couple of times in the first few weeks. We would talk while doing laundry and we seemed to have a lot in common. We got along really well right from the get go. I quickly came to enjoy her for her friendliness and dry humor and the crazy stories she would tell me. The more we talked, the closer we grew and before long we were hanging out in each other’s apartments and talking about our lives, listening to each other’s music and eating together.  It was a nice friendship and then things got complicated when she became physically attracted to me.

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RE: Manipulate Me Not

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“Such a good writing. I think the whole “appearance” thing and the fact that women are still objectified because of appearance is truly an issue more women can relate to than men, still, in today’s society. I’ve been that “pretty face” in my younger days and hated not being taken seriously. The interesting thing is Ive also lived on the other spectrum – the not-so-attractive side. It was truly eye opening as I slowly morphed into a few sizes larger over years. Along with my size, the way the world perceived me changed. Shockingly enough, it wasn’t all positive. I started to long for those young, pretty days again in some ways because sexually or not, my looks opened doors and without any effort got people’s attention. Just because I was pretty. Now it has flipped and there’s more substance, wisdom where the outer looks are lacking. I have to now work at opening doors and getting people to take me seriously (esp men) in different ways from when I had my looks speaking for me. All in all, I do like it better now. I’d rather my heart do my talking than my exterior. I wish you well and never give up on your dreams and goals!”

❤️ -Ginadiamond-heart

Gina,

When we’re dead and gone and our words are all that survive us, I don’t believe their ability to touch a person’s heart will depend on how well our hips could hold up a pair of jeans.

Also, I have to politely disagree that your outer looks are lacking… one of the most beautiful women I know had more wrinkles than I could count and a big brown mole on her cheek. Superficial beauty could never outshine the sparkle of a sincere soul. Shimmer and Slay, love. Stars are meant to live that way.

❤️ missy

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Arizona – Letting Go

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I wrote this based on a personal experience with a close friend who decided to move across the country for a time period to try and find themselves and it hurt me inside due to me letting go.  It was necessary and expected.  I put my feelings into words to try to sort out my heart…

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