Beautiful Dreamer

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Beautiful dreamer

Dreaming beautiful dreams

I know you’re in pain

But nothing is as it seems

You haven’t lost me

I’m always right here

In your heart

In your mind

I’m the salt in your  tears

I’ve known this was coming

The storm after the calm

But there will come a day

When our suffering becomes our psalm

…All You Are is The Moon…

 

 

It’s NOT Just “A Girl Thing”

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As the abuse of sexual power goes, females play a larger role than most people realize. Sexual coercion occurs when someone uses pressure or emotional force to get a person to agree to sex. Studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. It is possible to say yes and not mean yes. Below is a personal account of sexual coercion in the words of the person who was manipulated. Questions for the author can be directed to me HERE. He wishes to remain anonymous for now. 

The idea that all guys want as much sex as they can get is completely false. For as long as I can remember I have wanted my first time to be saved for someone really special. I always imagined meeting someone and being totally taken by her., delighting in the realization that our feelings matched and the fall afterword being irresistible… there being nothing we wanted more than to spend every moment together. Like we were the only two people in the world. What actually happened was not like that at all.

I met her in the apartment building I lived in. I was 22 at the time and she was 19. Although I mostly kept to myself while I lived there, I had run into her a couple of times in the first few weeks. We would talk while doing laundry and we seemed to have a lot in common. We got along really well right from the get go. I quickly came to enjoy her for her friendliness and dry humor and the crazy stories she would tell me. The more we talked, the closer we grew and before long we were hanging out in each other’s apartments and talking about our lives, listening to each other’s music and eating together.  It was a nice friendship and then things got complicated when she became physically attracted to me.

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Virginity

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As the abuse of sexual power goes, females play a larger role than most people realize. Sexual coercion occurs when someone uses pressure or emotional force to get a person to agree to sex. Studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. It is possible to say yes and not mean yes. Below is a personal account of sexual coercion in the words of the person who was manipulated:

I met her in the apartment building I lived in. I was 22 at the time and she was 19. Although I mostly kept to myself while I lived there, I had run into her a couple of times in the first few weeks. We would talk while doing laundry and we seemed to have a lot in common. We got along really well right from the get go. I quickly came to enjoy her for her friendliness and dry humor and the crazy stories she would tell me. The more we talked, the closer we grew and before long we were hanging out in each other’s apartments and talking about our lives, listening to each other’s music and eating together.  It was a nice friendship and then things got complicated when she became physically attracted to me.

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The Laugher is Silent Now

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Another beautiful piece from Jules. She doesn’t know this but she is the person who first sparked my interest in writing. When my dad was involved in a near fatal car accident in 2003 she wrote about the experience of watching him wheeled into surgery with the Ambu-bag breathing for him and when I read her words I was relieved and comforted. I was suddenly so aware that although I was terrified we would lose him and I felt tremendous pain, I was not alone and someone understood. -missy

Spring 2017

406 days. 406 days since she exited this plane of existence for one free from pain and suffering and the chains of an earthbound world. Seems like 406 years and then again it seems like yesterday. I can still see her in my mind; see her laughing and saying “Jules!” about something outrageous I proposed.  For a long time after she died I couldn’t remember what her laugh sounded like. I could see her in my mind, but the movie had no sound or plot or middle or beginning or end.

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Through a Glass Darkly

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Jules is the newest writer for Bleed With Me. She is also my Aunt and one of my most favorite people in the entire world. To read more about her CLICK HERE -m

17103761_1220214978015076_4375559741848213350_nJennifer was my best friend for 30 years. Never did I even contemplate the idea that she might leave this plane first, never. The pain and grief I experienced during her illness and following her departure was the blackest, darkest, most horrible pain I have ever endured. I THOUGHT I was prepared for her death. Turns out I thought like Ned in the first reader. I had no idea, no clue, what real grief was. It’s a good thing most don’t before it hits them.

I decided to start facing what this journey had been like with the eulogy; I don’t know why except to say that this was the hardest thing I have ever done in whole life. To get up in front of all those people and speak from my heart and soul without dissolving into a blubbering mess of snot and tears in a fetal position seemed impossible to accomplish. But I wanted to do it. I wanted to be the one who said the last words for her. Because she would have done it for me.

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Guardians

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Kay is a new writer for bleed with me. You can learn more about her HERE

Today I am going to talk about my guardian angels. I have four of them. Four is the number of people who I have truly loved, yet I was forced to watch them fade from this life. I’ve spent a lot of years denying my connection with those who have passed on, but I am no longer afraid of this precious gift.

The one who has been with me the longest is my paternal grandfather. We buried him just one month before my 15’th birthday. He was a man who never threw an unkind word in my direction. He was warm, and round, and steady. He always had candy with him, and he had no qualms whatsoever about crushing me mercilessly at Monopoly. Now that I am older and understand the weight that must have been on his shoulders concerning certain issues in our family, my love grows for him even more. I know he was not a perfect man, and if he were standing here right now, he would tell you the very same thing. I know he watches over all of his family, but I feel him so strongly. There has to be some significance to that, I’m sure of it! When I am really down, and I feel the warmth of a hug, yet no one is in the room with me, I know that it is him. When I am having a hysterical panic attack, it’s his voice that is still and booming all at the same time telling me that it’s going to be ok.

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Grief Is More Than a Grave

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Blair is a new writer for Bleed With Me. Blair’s family was torn apart when her husband was wrongfully accused and later convicted of a crime he did not commit. The allegations were brought by his ex wife who, like so many before her used the justice system to settle her own twisted score. And she won. And this happens ALL THE TIME and we know this yet change is often a day late, a bill short… You can read more about Blair here.

When someone dies what do we do? We take the time to memorialize their memory.  We gather together and share stories. We send flowers and plants to the family. We make sure that we remember what that person was like and all the good things they brought into our lives. We surround those that are grieving with support and love. We encourage them to cry and to grieve. We even acknowledge that it will take time to heal and one never recovers fully from the loss. The emotional support given is incredible and can greatly help those who are feeling such a void.

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