You’ll Know When

Standard

1501858129617

Meet Britain. Britain is my little. He’s been on this earth 3 years but his soul is likely older than mine.

Baths are one of the things Britain and I have done together since he was a wee little man. I could always calm him if I nursed him in the bathtub and when I quit nursing we just carried on having baths together. It saved water and as he got older he would take that opportunity to open up. We usually talked about feelings or that damn Jace who is always knocking his blocks down at school.

In all the unsolicited parenting advice I was given people would tell me that I would know when it was time to stop taking baths with my little boy. They said that one day he would reach a certain age where it was no longer appropriate and I would just know.

I think last night was our last bath together.

I put Britain outside the tub so I could lay back and rinse the shampoo from my hair. He’s standing over me looking down.

He says: “I love when you lay like that.”

“Why is that, B?”

“Because I can see EVERYTHING.”

Yep. That about does it for me. Here’s to the end of an era.

Before You Go…

Standard

10303176_723223681047544_101517070328805995_n

Remember that kid? The one who thought you hung the moon… Mom said when I was born and I finally opened my eyes, it was you who was holding me. I saw you first. The first time I questioned your involvement in the hanging of the moon was the night I heard you and Mom fighting. She was crying SO hard and you were telling her she was making a fool of herself and that she was crazy. I was very young but I laid in my bed and listened to you and I cried with her. I didn’t understand how you could be so cruel. She loved you so much. I thought: If I were her I would slap him. As an adult I understand that her emotional vulnerability threatened you. Just like mine does now that I am all grown up.

Continue reading